The Problem with Virginity

boybestfriend

They met in geometry class
She sat in the front row to see the board
He sat in the front row to see the blonde

He was a short, chubby blonde kid
A joiner, some kids called him
Since he helped with every club, every team

She was a shy, lonely blonde girl
Dirty-dishwater blonde, her mother would say
Sister Christian, some kids called her

He was studying foreign languages,
Announcing their high school football games
Creating the props for the drama club

She was studying math and science,
Earning gas money filing papers in the office
Spending study time in the library or computer lab

She noticed his easy smile
He made her laugh
He loved her laugh

He made sure they spoke often
He waited for her after school
Walked her to the office where she did the filing

He fell in love with her
Day by day
She didn’t know right away

She knew she trusted him
Could tell him almost anything
They became the best of friends

When she broke up with her cheating boyfriend
Whom she’d given her virginity to
It was her best guy friend’s shoulder she cried onto

He didn’t judge her for giving in
To teenage pressures from a boy of sixteen
But she felt unworthy to remain his friend

He asked her to meet him a couple months later
But not for a date he was quick to confirm
Just to talk as two friends

They met at the mall on the east side of town
He wanted her to know that her past didn’t matter
That she was still pure in his eyes

Oh but the stain she felt went to her core
She knew she’d given herself willingly to that unfaithful boy
Time and again, never telling him no

She’d been raised in church
Still wore the long skirts
Had been taught without purity you’re worthless

So she’d taken her worthlessness and
Enjoyed it, as only a teenager could,
No thought of the future, only of each hidden moment

When her boyfriend of six months had asked
To do it in his room or the park, she consented
Without her virginity, her future was gone, no repentance

He didn’t know all of this
He thought she’d been coerced
As if she werr still untainted somehow

She knew he was innocent and pure
He hadn’t even kissed a girl
He hadn’t yet even been on a date

And there the two sat on that crucial day
At the mall, as those fateful words were spoken
That broke their beautiful friendship

He wanted her to understand that he would never
Pressure her into any physical relations, that
He was in love with who she was inside

His debate class hadn’t prepared him for talking to
A girl as broken as she was and
She heard it all wrong

He said to her, “I’m saving myself for marriage.”
But she heard, “… and you’re not good enough for me. Obviously.”
So she sadly walked out of his life with no more words spoken

He looked for her after school
But she wasn’t in the usual places
She wouldn’t look up when he spotted her from afar

She kept her head down and walked alone
She no longer walked the same route
To run into him on her way to file papers

She ran away from home a few months later
Her home life was worse than she’d ever confided
Even to him, her best guy friend

She knew she wasn’t worthy of someone
As pure and golden as him
He was just too good for her

She couldn’t even tell him she was leaving
He might have tried to make her stay or maybe leave with her
She wouldn’t ruin his life, so she disappeared from it

He wished he would’ve known then
The right words to say to make her understand
How perfect she was in his eyes

The next twenty years the boy and the girl
Would carry their heartaches separately
Until the boy’s steadfast care brought them together again

He had never stopped searching for her
Had even gone to her childhood house when she first went missing
Her mother ordered him to never come back again

He searched the internet for years
She had vanished without a trace
He kept searching anyway

Each new social media gave him hope
He’d search her name every few weeks
Twenty-one years later, he found her online

Within minutes the boy and girl
Now grown
Were on the phone

Before catching up on lost years
He apologized if she misinterpreted his teenaged words
She told him what her younger self heard

She had discussed it in counseling just a few weeks prior
But she told him she realized a long time ago
He must not have meant it the way she heard it

She’d raised her teenaged boys with stories of him
His smile and kindness towards her was
A goal her sons should strive for with girls

He’d written a novel and the main character
In his book was madly in love
With a beautiful girl he’d named after her

The years hadn’t dimmed their time together
They laughed and chatted like they did when they were high-schoolers
And they realized they were still the very best of friends

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One thought on “The Problem with Virginity

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