1) There’s a sign on Michigan Ave which warns
pedestrians not to cross;
This is only enforced the first week
of fall. During which it is
enforced by cruisers
enabled with loudspeakers.
Try to avoid that embarrassment.
However, after the first week, the
‘No Crossing’ sign is a great place
to meet up with other walkers
to cross safely to the other side.
2) It is safer to cross the road
with multiple people. Drivers
may not notice one person
even when wearing a backpack, boots
and reflective clothing,
but two or more could stop a city bus.
So think to yourself: Safety in numbers.
3) Many classrooms have a sign
stating you are not allowed to eat
or drink in them. This isn’t true, just don’t
leave a mess behind when you’re done
chowing down. And for Pete’s sake,
don’t bring anything that smells
delicious, that’s just mean to the
rest of us. But, ignore the sign and
eat away. If you’re in a computer
room, you’ll likely have to keep
your drink on the floor, like
you did in high school. No biggie.
4) The campus only sells Coca Cola products,
which sucks if you live off Mountain Dew.
Prepare to adjust to living off Monsters
like the rest of your jacked up friends
like-Starbucks-coffee if you wanna
wait in line with those peeps.
5) Chic-fil-a rocks. Just try not to
think about their corporate gay-
exclusion policy and enjoy the white meat.
It sucks morally, but it’s good eats, dammit.
Also, Chic-fil-a has their own cups
for their lemonade; don’t bring one
from the soda fountain. You’ll
feel foolish. Believe me.
6) The librarians are eager to help,
they can order books from all over
if you ask in time, and they
are usually quite pleasing to the eye.
So go there. Often. Oh! And you can
print there, which is a huge perk.
7) Don’t schedule a class every day,
You’re going to need a day off,
every week, to rest up before
the weekend, or after the weekend,
so plan accordingly. And if you sign
up for an online class, use the buddy
system, two heads are better than one.
This way, one of you is sure to notice
an upcoming assignment or test. Nice, huh?
8) If you have a choice in professors,
ask around to see what kind of class
they run: how they teach, how they grade,
if their quizzes are rough, important
stuff like that. Go to ratemyprofessor.com
Critical info on there, seriously.
9) Carry a snack with you, and a
water bottle, or an empty soda bottle.
If you run out of cash or debits,
you can refill with water from the
fountain, it tastes a little weird,
so try to avoid this, but it’s
better than dying of dehydration.
10) Walking on the right-hand side
is apparently out-moded. Holding
doors open for others is still
fashionable. Be aware and
good luck out there!